Internet dating – the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’

With over 7 million single people logging on to internet dating sites in the UK every year and a recent survey published in the Sunday Telegraph, showing that the over 55’s were the highest proportion of people using such sites, there has never been a better time to use technology to help you find love or just friendship.  But with so many people out there, how do you go about finding the right one.....and, equally importantly, avoid attracting the wrong one?

Well, the first thing to consider is your ‘advert’ which should serve to attract people to get in touch with you.  Many people approaching internet dating for the first time find this aspect daunting  - like writing a CV, most of us are not that comfortable with writing about ourselves. So give yourself plenty of time and try the following suggestions to get you started:-

• Have a look on the site you’re using – does it publish any hints or tips on profile writing?

• Look at profiles that attract you – what is it about them that makes them appealing? Can you apply those qualities to your profile?

• Check your spelling and grammar carefully.  Research has revealed that bad grammar and ‘text speak’ were a major turn off.

• Choose your user name carefully - choices such as ‘footballmad’ or ‘hellraiser’ might lead people to make assumptions about your character or lifestyle which makes them automatically reject you without reading any further.

• Try to make positive statements rather than negative – for example ‘recently heartbroken’ could be ‘approaching life with renewed optimism’.

• Make sure you post a good photo of yourself – look approachable, warm and not overtly sexy – too much naked flesh can make people feel uncomfortable!  Research shows that people who used pictures of themselves doing something "conversation worthy" such as playing guitar or scuba diving got the most positive responses.

• If you don’t get many responses at first, try looking at your profile again and making a few changes to improve your chances.
 
Hopefully once your profile is up and running the responses will come flooding in, and it’s a good idea to get to know a little bit about someone – either by chatting on email or over the telephone before you decide to meet them in person. If you do decide to meet up then it’s only sensible to follow some basic guidelines to make sure you stay safe.

• Don’t give put personal contact details until you are sure the person you are talking with is genuine.

• Meet in a public place such as a cafe and meet during the day for the first few times.

• Tell someone where you are going and make sure you take a mobile phone with you.

• Make your own way there and back home again and don’t invite someone back with you until you know them well.

• If you do not feel happy with being contacted by someone simply block the user – don’t worry about appearing rude or unsociable – safety comes first.

• Never give out bank details or contact anyone who is trying to obtain money over the Internet – unfortunately fraudsters use dating agencies to target people who they perceive to be vulnerable.